How to be a Chic Mother of the Bride

A frequently asked question here at Marti & Co. comes from the Mothers of the Bride.

How do we not upstage the bride, but keep our own style in our individual wedding look?

The first thing to consider is that the mothers should be the second best-dressed people at the wedding, next to the bride. We will be focusing just on the ladies for this post, but be on the lookout for another blog post on fathers soon.  

Next, let’s look at how to streamline the process of finding your look by having some fun shopping for your wedding dress and accessories. Below, you will find our best tips for making your Mother of the Bride look the chicest of the chic.

The Dress …

The most important tip we can share is to start looking early. It’s ok to shop a little before the wedding gown is chosen because it takes time to find the dress you’ll feel fabulous in and the decision process takes awhile. 

 Find inspiration for your dress from the venue, colors and theme the couple has chosen for their wedding day. Grab your favorite writing source – phone, computer or mine a pretty notebook and write down the colors, venue, and theme. Then go to your favorite pictures you have of you and your family. Scan the pictures to see which one you like best and note what you’re wearing.

From here, go to Pinterest and search the theme of the wedding plus mother of the bride, for example, Mother of the Bride – Art Deco Wedding. Peruse the posts that come up and choose your favorites to save to a personal Pinterest Board. Never saved to a board before? Just click on save & follow the prompts to create a board. Oops! First, you need to create an account if you don’t already have one, which is also super easy by following the prompts on the home screen.

For shopping sources, think both traditional like a wedding shop and non-traditional like Asos, von maur, Macy’s or Nordstrom’s. For online, 1 of the best sources for inspiration is BHLDN. BHLDN has fantastic sales and dress styles for all wedding venues.

Shoes …

Shopping for special occasion shoes can be challenging because sometimes the increased costs and styles available do not come with a comfortable fit. With that in mind here are choices that come in a variety of price points and styles. Here again, shopping early is the best strategy for finding shoes you love and want to wear all day.

Our Best tips:

• start early even before your daughter is engaged

You might be wondering how do I shop before I know the colors, venue and the style of my daughter’s wedding gown? It’s so possible because a metallic shoe goes with everything and your dress can be shortened if needed to go with your shoe. This strategy works because it takes a lot of tries on to find the shoe that you feel the most glamorous in and most of all, that you can wear for the entire wedding. Pick your favorite metallic – gold, silver- or the new favorite – rose gold and start shopping!

• focus on comfort and style – for heels, platform or a wedge heel give the most balanced and comfort for standing and dancing at the wedding.

• get them worn in- yes, wear them months before the wedding around your home first and then after you decided they’re the ones to an indoor event before the wedding.

• you can have 2 pairs of shoes for the wedding – yes more shoes!

If it works best with your dress to wear shoes that are the most glamorous but not necessarily the most comfortable for the ceremony, bring another pair that is stylish for dancin’ the night away.

• DIY ideas

Here are 3 of our best DIY ideas for shoes: add shoe clips to your favorite pair of comfy nude or metallic shoes; look through vintage stores for glamorous clip on earrings – they work perfectly as shoe clips, and lastly, make them from bits & pieces of rhinestone earrings, lace, and ribbon.

• Our Favorites Shoes & Where to Shop

Shop for shoes at von maur, Macy’s, Bhldn, Nordstroms, Zappos, and/or Anthropologie.

Jewelry & Purse …

Choosing jewelry and a purse to go with your dress are important items that require some thought. Accessories add those critical details that take your look from just pretty to chic. So plan to spend some time finding these accessories. For your purse, a clutch purse with a removable strap is always a good choice. Metallic is again a good color choice because it goes with every color of a dress. There is the choice of a sturdy tote to carry all of the essentials for the day and adding your clutch to the tote or choosing a larger metallic colored purse that can hold everything you need for the day.

Our Best Tips:

• look for coordinating pieces rather than an exact match of earrings to the necklace and/or bracelet for the “chic of chicest” style with your dress.

• it’s ok to wear the same bracelet or earrings as the rest of the wedding party, try not to wear exactly the same jewelry unless your daughter or future daughter-in-law asks you to.

• if your dress is all lace or has beaded accents go with classic jewelry like pearls, gold or silver jewelry.

• for a v-neck, u-shape or jewel neckline consider a necklace that is similar to the neckline of your dress ( see photo below)

•a modern trend that we love is mixing metals – gold, silver and/or rose gold

Hair & Makeup

We were so happy in this photo because we had a relaxing morning getting our hair and makeup done by a team who came to our Airbnb. Even though this was a destination wedding, the team came the day before the ceremony and did trial makeup and hairstyle for Kelli so that she got exactly what she wanted. This service is available in most Destination Wedding packages and weddings closer to home.

If you’re into it and it’s in the budget, we’d strongly suggest getting your hair and makeup done professionally for the wedding. However, there are times when this isn’t feasible because of allergies to certain types of makeup and skincare. For allergy-prone Mom’s bring your own makeup and skincare products for the stylist to use at the salon or pack them in your carryon for a destination wedding. Here are a few other tips we have found helpful for chic makeup and hairstyles.

• For Mom’s who like to do there own makeup, go to your favorite shop a few months before the wedding for a consultation on updating your makeup for the wedding. Ask for tips for applying makeup for wedding pictures. Also, ask the consultant to write down the tips and also, take a photo for reference for using on the wedding day.

• For Mom’s who like a no-makeup look consider asking the stylist for a minimalist look that will look like you for the family photos so that you love them forever.

• To avoid miscommunication, bring photos with you to the hairstylist and hair accessories that you’d like him or her to use in your style. Try to pick a style that you love and isn’t too complicated. We’re not advocates for a new haircut for the wedding day, just a new style that you tried out before the wedding.

• For a super easy style add a jeweled pin to a messy, curled up-to make a hairstyle wedding-ready.

Wow! We made it. That’s our best tips for a “Chic Mother of the Bride Wedding Day Look “. We know this is a lot of information and time were asking you to take a look over in planning your wedding look for your daughter’s wedding. Your time and energy will bring lifelong memories and you’ll love revisiting the wedding pictures often. Leave a comment below with your favorite tip.